How Can I Love Her?

“How can I have this love for her?”

The love I had for her just didn’t make sense. I could barely communicate with her. I had spent hardly any time with her. I didn’t know her.

This is what was on my mind as we walked away from our apartment (of three months) in Brasov, Romania, the place we stayed as the world shut down because of COVID. We had just said goodbye to our sweet German neighbor that saw us on our way through her kitchen window.

Earlier that morning I had taken her flowers and written her a goodbye note in German (with help from Google Translate). A little bit later we heard a knock at the door. When I opened it, she was standing there with a bag of cookies and homemade rhubarb jelly to give us. We tried to communicate as well as we could with hand motions and the few words we could make in German. I could tell by the look on her face and her sweet tone of voice that she wanted so badly to be able to have a normal conversation with us. We wanted the same.

As we walked out the front door of the apartment building a little later, we noticed that she was standing at her kitchen window seemingly waiting to say goodbye again. Her beautiful smile and the fact that she wanted to see us off made an impact on me. It made me think there was a chance that we had made an impact on her during our stay there too.

With every step I took away from the building, that temporary home, I felt more sadness. I felt sad to leave this chapter of our trip…of our lives. And I felt sad to leave her and the other neighbors that we had begun a relationship with. I wanted more time and words with them. I wanted more opportunities to show them God’s love.

The question popped in my head as we neared the gate to exit the neighborhood. How can I love this person so deeply? I don’t know her name, much less know her as a person.

Then this Bible verse, 1 John 4:19, popped in my head.

We love because he first loved us.

Wow.

We love because he first loved us.

I love her because God first loved me.

He gave His son to death, so that I could have life. He rose to life to that I could have life with Him now and for eternity. (John 3:16)

His ultimate act of love allows us to know His love and gives us the desire to share that love with others.

Because of his love, I can love these women whose language I can’t understand, whose lives I know almost nothing about, and whose smiles and stuttered words have led the path into my heart.

I know the love that Jesus gave on the cross. I know the patience, the grace, and mercy it takes from Him to love and forgive me. So how could I not love her? As we invested small pieces of our lives with our neighbors, their hearts began to open to us and I pray they saw the love of Jesus too.

How can I love her?

Because God first loved me.

“We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.“

1 John 4:19-21 (ESV)