Not Yet | A Journey of Waiting for God’s Timing and Plan

When I met this couple several years ago, I knew there was something special about them. There was an innocence and purity about them that really struck me. As I’ve watched them live their lives to honor God, I have a better understanding of why there was such peace flowing from them when I met them. I hope you enjoy reading of Heather’s example of patience and love in following Christ.

. . . . .

The Beginning

“Not yet.” If anything seemed to be the theme of my life from high school through my early 30’s, it would be that phrase. Whether it were jobs, adventures, or relationships; it seemed God’s timing for these things were “not yet.” Little did I know that He was already working in all three of those areas; I was just too short-sighted to see it at times.

I went to college with high hopes of graduating and landing my “dream job” in my new career with a ring on my finger to a fellow who shared my love for music. Needless to say...that didn’t happen! :) My first job was at a small school where I grew as a teacher and musician more than I ever thought I would. Some of the hardest lessons were learned there, but I loved my students and the people I worked with immensely. I could not have asked for a better first teaching experience.

After 5 years, I left that job and I went on to get a master’s degree. Upon finishing, I moved to Texas to teach at a 6A High School. Once again the “not yet” kept popping up. Though I loved my new job, I found myself re-evaluating what God was calling me to do with my next steps in life. I prayed and prayed about where God was leading me next. By the summer of 2016, I started to get the idea that God’s plan for my life may not include staying in Texas and/or pursuing my “dream job.”

The Struggle

In July of 2016, I decided to take a trip to Colorado by myself because, hey, why not? I’m an adult, I can make it happen! I was ready to do something, ANYTHING different than the status quo. What did I find? Emptiness, loneliness, and disappointment. Adventure wouldn’t solve the ache in my heart for something more. Neither would a husband, a family, or a new job. I “knew” that, but I think God allowed that trip to open my eyes to how I was leaning on my fleshly desires to give me purpose.

The Surrender

I came back to Texas knowing this: The Lord was calling me to draw closer to Him; my desires were good, but God, the I AM, is the only one who can satisfy every single one of my needs.

I am an avid fan of Anne of Green Gables and I think this quote sums up what I was thinking and feeling at the end of that trip perfectly. She tells Gilbert,

“I went looking for my ideals outside of myself. I discovered it’s not what the world holds for you, it’s what you bring to it.”

I knew It was time to surrender my dreams and ideals to the Lord. I was looking for the world to show me what’s next instead of the Lord. I laid it all out and prayed, “If I never get married, have children, or land my ‘dream job,’ then it’s OK, Lord. Your will, not mine.” After acknowledging this to the Lord, I knew two things: 1. This would be my last year teaching in Texas, and 2. I was ready to pursue the next step the Lord had for me.

I started that school year uncertain of what lay ahead, but still clinging to my Lord and His word to guide my steps. Fast forward to September and with no real direction, I decided on a whim (OK, a nudge from the Lord) to sign up for online dating. I signed up for a site called Crosspaths. Little did I know how accurate that name would be. Before that fall, I think I was looking for the perfect ideal, someone who clicked ALL my boxes. But God. :) He had been working on my heart and lovingly showed me through different people and circumstances what a good, godly husband should look like.

A New Path

On October 7th, the journey began. Chris, who had just finished his PhD that summer in Oklahoma, had driven back to his hometown in Texas to celebrate his birthday with his family. We happened to “just” be within 300 miles (our chosen parameters on Crosspaths) of each other so our paths “crossed” that day and we “matched” with each other.

Chris contacted me first and stood out LEAPS AND BOUNDS from the other matches I had been interacting with. He was thoughtful, complementary, and just a tad flirtatious. He reached out and asked if I was interested in Skyping. It hit me on my drive to work that I hadn’t responded to him for 3 days because I was in the middle of a very busy season at my job and I felt HORRIBLE! I quickly pulled over and responded to him in a gas station parking lot and emphatically told him that I would love to “meet” him over Skype! We Skyped every day after that.

By the end of October, we decided to meet in Texas in person for the first time. I think I literally shook with nerves the entire drive there!! Once I got to the coffee shop, I entered through the back door and saw Chris sitting down near the front with his back to me. Y’all. It was like a scene right out of a Hallmark movie! It truly felt like time stood still and I savored the moment because I knew that I was going to marry that tall handsome guy who loved Jesus. We went to the zoo, mountain biked, and visited the church Chris went to in College. It was a wonderful and God-honoring first date!

At Chris’ suggestion, we decided to read through Pilgrim’s Progress together. My dad had read it to us as a child and I loved reading through it with Chris. It brought up SO many theological discussions and light bulbs for each of us. It allowed each of us to see our knowledge of theology and our commitment to the Lord.

I visited him in Oklahoma over Thanksgiving, he met my family in Tennessee at Christmas, and I met his family in January of 2017. In March, we both traveled to Tennessee over Spring Break. We made breakfast for my parents and at the end, while we all sat at the table, Chris asked for my parents’ permission to marry me. This is a memory I will always cherish; I can still hear my dad’s asking Chris to provide and care for me always and see my Mom’s 1,000 watt smile. The next morning, we enjoyed a very rare dusting of snow and a cup of coffee on the porch swing. This unforgettable moment was perfected when Chris proposed to me with a beautiful poem he wrote. I instantly said “yes!”

It was a whirlwind of an engagement as I planned a wedding, closed out the school year, and moved my household to Oklahoma. We married on July 2, 2017 and honeymooned for two weeks in Tennessee, Colorado, and Utah. It was truly a dream come true...with more to come.

Marriage and parenthood have been the most sanctifying process that I ever could have imagined. Chris and I have grown closer to each other and the Lord over the past three and a half years. Through different trials, moves, health scares, and day to day life; God has been faithful, gracious, kind, and has provided our every need for our family. I know I have grown to lean on God’s sovereignty more and more with each passing year, and I know my faith is stronger because of it. We welcomed our first child, Jackson Hall in September of 2019 and are expecting our second child, a girl, in September of 2021!

“It is a mercy that our lives are not left for us to plan, but that our Father chooses for us; else might we sometimes turn away from our best blessings, and put from us the choicest and loveliest gifts of His providence.” -Susannah Spurgeon

I could not agree with this quote by Susannah Spurgeon any more! Amen and Amen!

Finding Growth

God has been so gracious to me as I have gone through many seasons in my life. Even when I am stubborn, He has lovingly shown me His will for my life. The Lord has been long-suffering with me and carried me through some tough times of loneliness. He helped me see the true desires of my heart, the ones that truly aligned with His will and gave me the gentle nudge to pursue those things.

The words from Proverbs 3:5-6 were an anchor for me during those years as well as 1 Peter 5:6-7

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” -Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxieties on Him because he cares for you.” -1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)

These words were my anchors when I was afraid, unsure, lonely, or discouraged.

Verses 10 and 11 of that same passage also gave me hope.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen.” -1 Peter 5:10-11 (NIV)

Finding Joy

I love being outside, so many many times through my years of singleness I would go outdoors and walk, run, or hike and spend time with the Lord. Those were some of the sweetest times where I experienced His hope and joy when I poured my heart out to Him. The times spent in His word allowed me to see His character. I could put my trust in Him because of the promises in His word. Prayer also brought me joy. Sometimes the joy of knowing that even if I was unhappy-my joy did not come from myself or my circumstances, but through His sovereignty, grace, mercy and hope He gives me.

Encouraging Others

For those of you who are single or are trying to figure out what you are doing with your life, I would suggest the following. I can’t say I did every one of these things perfectly, but I know without a doubt, they helped me along the way.

Surround yourself with women who love and serve Jesus. When I first moved to Houston I didn’t have this until my last year there. I regret waiting for so long to commit to a “tribe.” Surrounding yourself with Christ honoring and serving women provides encouragement, community, and accountability.
If you’ve recently moved somewhere new, find a church. Even if it’s not “perfect”, find a Biblically teaching church, jump in with both feet, and join as a member. I church hopped in Houston for six months until I found the church I attended...and that was about 5 months too long. Go to church every Sunday-even when you don’t feel like it.
Trust the Lord. He knows our hearts and desires better than we know them. Allow God to “tweak” them. God has used a few circumstances to show me that it was going to be OK if I didn’t marry a band director! Lol! Let go of the list, Sister, and whittle down what would be some of the most important attributes in a husband.
Don’t give up on your desire to be married! It’s a good, God-honoring desire. Chris and I weren’t married till I was 33. I know that is not old, but there’s something that happens after you turn 30. You start realizing, “OK, I want to get married, but that may not happen. How can I honor and serve the Lord if I don’t get married?” When I started thinking that way, God started changing my desires and those desires truly aligned with His will. Praise God!
If you are getting engaged, have a short engagement. We were engaged for four months and were able to plan a beautiful wedding just the way we wanted. If you know you have found the right one, don’t delay!